by Anushka Singh
1 October 2020
I hope you’re doing fine. It has been an extended time since we last talked. To be honest, I feel wordless. It’s one of those dilemmas where we have got an entire ocean of thoughts inside us but we feel clueless of how to let it flow. We’ve been here before for countless times, the crisis chats, arguments, disputes, tears, promises and plenty more. But now, it’s different. Now I understand why they say: “It’s not you, it’s me.”
I loved you from the instant I became capable of even understanding words like these. I saw your unequaled beauty, your tenderness and warmth, your soothing and diligently devoting nature. Although you never reacted to my ceaseless vents, you continued to make me feel the solace around you that I felt nowhere else. And, I am thankful. You have always been there, making me feel the very fact that I am not alone, through your littlest of efforts. Nightly, when I’ve spent hours watching the sky trying not to feel sad, you made me feel your presence. Every sundown, after I sat on the waterfront admiring your charm, the wind kissed my cheeks. I do know it surely was you, notifying that you love me back.
I muse on all the content times we humans explored your magnificent mountains and endless seas; after we lazed in your sun, pacified by your pleasing breeze. I always hoped for these precious moments which are so near my heart, to never end.
Over the years, I have tried to carry out my part of promises. I assumed multiple times, why do you even need me or people to talk on your behalf if you are the one to create us in the first place. I wasn’t sure if it was just another trick of yours to make people act or you were just terrified of something. I feel apologetic to admit, I didn’t even ask you. You were and you have always been my ally, my best friend and I like a stupid, just assumed that I knew what was best.
I guess that is the point, isn’t it? You kept trying to speak. To me, to people, to the universe. We just took it light enough for you to destroy yourself. But today, I accept. It isn’t you, it’s me; it’s us.
The reason i’m writing this letter is because I have realised something. It’s not you who needs the saving, it’s me. It’s me and us, the humans.
We humans, who try to become the hero for you, forgot that you don’t actually need one. In those magnificent mountains and endless seas, lies the flair for us to nourish, clothe and foster ourselves, without limit. Your warm sun and pleasing breeze can give us the energy to learn, work and prosper over a lifetime.
You’ve always been there helping us literally survive and live. You have been there in every way that you could but when came our turn, we backed off. We became selfish as we are. Dear earth, here I am. Here I am, apologizing on behalf of the whole civilization and human race, for destroying all that you gave us with all of your love.
I am sorry, for the things that i could not stop and the things i am unable to change anymore. Please know, all of me loves all of you regardless of anything. It’s just that you won the game of proving yourself and I failed.
Someone who is really sorry.